Anonymous asked:

why are all your friends so far away?

There’s a practical answer to this question, which is essentially that I am lucky enough to have ambitious, driven friends who follow their dreams and their aspirations. It’s led them to places like Egypt and Washington, DC and Los Angeles and Michigan and San Francisco and England. There are even friends of mine who live in Chicago with me but are so far and inconveniently located from me that they may as well be in New York City. Which is not to say I don’t have friends who live less than a mile away from me. They are as good and true as the ones far away. We live in a pretty funky age where I can text someone in LA and Chicago and hear back from both instantaneously.

I never would have enjoyed a life where my friends and I all ended up in the same space. It would have been stagnant and difficult. The farther they go, the more they’re able to learn and share. I love having friends who are far away. It makes things lonely sometimes, but it also expands my world so much. I can check in on other timezones and countries and know that there is someone there that I love. It makes this whole world feel a lot smaller.

My hair is so long. It’s the longest it’s been in a while. I cut all my hair off the spring I turned 20, and now I’m nearly 23 and a half. It’s taken a while to get back to this point. I remember starting Comedy Studies—two years ago, next week—and telling some of the boys that I was working on growing my hair out.
"That’s not a thing you have to work on," one of them told me. "It happens on its own."
I don’t really know what to do with it right now. It’s big and it’s heavy. When I cut it all off when I was 20, it was in reaction to a lot of things. I don’t like saying I cut my hair off because a boy made me sad because that always sounds stupid. But I was sad and I was sad about a boy and I was sad about moving away to London, so I cut all my hair and I felt so good and new. I don’t know that I want to feel new right now. I think I just want my neck to be less sweaty. Occasionally I get into moods where I just want to shave it all off. I don’t know that I could pull that kind of look off, but I do know that it would make me feel courageous. My roommate asked what would have to happen for me to just do it one day, and I told her I would just need all of that courage on that day. Who knows when that day is gonna be, but sometimes it feels like it’ll be soon. 
I’m behind on writing about film and I’m behind on writing about books. I saw One Direction in concert almost two weeks ago and I haven’t written anything about it (okay—I haven’t written anything coherent about it). I felt all antsy today at work, tapping my fingers and listening to the same song on repeat until I had to put my phone into my purse so I wouldn’t check it anymore. I was just going to come home from work and nap, but I felt energized on the train and bought a few groceries. Nothing too special, but when I’m anxious, I like to make myself dinner. I did that the night before I interviewed for the Onion job. It didn’t do me any good in the long run, but it made me feel peaceful in the short run (which I think is almost—if not, equally—as valuable). I bought meat for the first time since I’ve even lived in this apartment (vegetarians, am I right?) because I smelled ground beef for the first time in, like, months the other week and I thought I was going to pass out. I have nothing but tremendous respect for people that don’t eat meat but holy shit, I love meat so much.
When I get anxious, in general, I start making things. I suppose it’s good to have that nervous, creative energy, although I also wish I could just make things without also feeling like the whole world is crumbling around me. I’ve been putting the finishing touches on a poetry collection that I’ve been working on for a year and a half now. Certainly not consistently, but it’s always been in the back of my brain. It’s about food and sex and romance and bodies and eating. Those aren’t the things I tend to write about most of the time. I remember writing a singular autobiographical, romantic thing in college and everyone was like, “this is not your image.” But I was always kind of alienated from my body and my relationship with and to it and what I put into it up until I graduated from college. Then I started being around food and kissable idiots more often. Win some, lose some. It was a poetry collection that I was always pretty embarrassed about—and still might be, to some extent, but more for the quality of the writing than the content itself—and then I read this Taylor Swift article about women and feelings (among other things). It is a silly thing to say Taylor Swift inspired me to write about my feelings because that it is definitely not how this happened, but I did feel validated. I like working on the collection, even though I know it is not objectively good, and I also think that is important much of the time. Short term peace of mind.
A lot of what Taylor Swift said about songwriting and romance was also applicable to stand-up. I started trying to date again last month and mostly it was a nightmare and everyone said, “well, at least you have good material for stand-up!” I think they think that anything you experience that is vaguely negative is worthy of jokes. That’s not necessarily the case. It was bad because I felt anxious and uncomfortable and not sure of myself. I don’t like it when people hit on me after stand-up shows because my stand-up persona is my worst version of myself. Similarly, I don’t like going on dates because I hate having to present my best version of myself. My actual version of self is irritatingly early, annoying, charismatic, and makes prolonged eye contact. Maybe sometimes funny, maybe sometimes a good listener. I don’t have any jokes about dating or OKCupid messages or that kind of stuff. I’m not really interested in poking fun at people also trying really hard to meet someone they like. I didn’t really like anyone I met, but I also don’t always like myself. Shit’s hard. I’m no more likable than literally any other human being who has ever lived except maybe Hitler. I just have big hair and a lot of feelings.

My hair is so long. It’s the longest it’s been in a while. I cut all my hair off the spring I turned 20, and now I’m nearly 23 and a half. It’s taken a while to get back to this point. I remember starting Comedy Studies—two years ago, next week—and telling some of the boys that I was working on growing my hair out.

"That’s not a thing you have to work on," one of them told me. "It happens on its own."

I don’t really know what to do with it right now. It’s big and it’s heavy. When I cut it all off when I was 20, it was in reaction to a lot of things. I don’t like saying I cut my hair off because a boy made me sad because that always sounds stupid. But I was sad and I was sad about a boy and I was sad about moving away to London, so I cut all my hair and I felt so good and new. I don’t know that I want to feel new right now. I think I just want my neck to be less sweaty. Occasionally I get into moods where I just want to shave it all off. I don’t know that I could pull that kind of look off, but I do know that it would make me feel courageous. My roommate asked what would have to happen for me to just do it one day, and I told her I would just need all of that courage on that day. Who knows when that day is gonna be, but sometimes it feels like it’ll be soon. 

I’m behind on writing about film and I’m behind on writing about books. I saw One Direction in concert almost two weeks ago and I haven’t written anything about it (okay—I haven’t written anything coherent about it). I felt all antsy today at work, tapping my fingers and listening to the same song on repeat until I had to put my phone into my purse so I wouldn’t check it anymore. I was just going to come home from work and nap, but I felt energized on the train and bought a few groceries. Nothing too special, but when I’m anxious, I like to make myself dinner. I did that the night before I interviewed for the Onion job. It didn’t do me any good in the long run, but it made me feel peaceful in the short run (which I think is almost—if not, equally—as valuable). I bought meat for the first time since I’ve even lived in this apartment (vegetarians, am I right?) because I smelled ground beef for the first time in, like, months the other week and I thought I was going to pass out. I have nothing but tremendous respect for people that don’t eat meat but holy shit, I love meat so much.

When I get anxious, in general, I start making things. I suppose it’s good to have that nervous, creative energy, although I also wish I could just make things without also feeling like the whole world is crumbling around me. I’ve been putting the finishing touches on a poetry collection that I’ve been working on for a year and a half now. Certainly not consistently, but it’s always been in the back of my brain. It’s about food and sex and romance and bodies and eating. Those aren’t the things I tend to write about most of the time. I remember writing a singular autobiographical, romantic thing in college and everyone was like, “this is not your image.” But I was always kind of alienated from my body and my relationship with and to it and what I put into it up until I graduated from college. Then I started being around food and kissable idiots more often. Win some, lose some. It was a poetry collection that I was always pretty embarrassed about—and still might be, to some extent, but more for the quality of the writing than the content itself—and then I read this Taylor Swift article about women and feelings (among other things). It is a silly thing to say Taylor Swift inspired me to write about my feelings because that it is definitely not how this happened, but I did feel validated. I like working on the collection, even though I know it is not objectively good, and I also think that is important much of the time. Short term peace of mind.

A lot of what Taylor Swift said about songwriting and romance was also applicable to stand-up. I started trying to date again last month and mostly it was a nightmare and everyone said, “well, at least you have good material for stand-up!” I think they think that anything you experience that is vaguely negative is worthy of jokes. That’s not necessarily the case. It was bad because I felt anxious and uncomfortable and not sure of myself. I don’t like it when people hit on me after stand-up shows because my stand-up persona is my worst version of myself. Similarly, I don’t like going on dates because I hate having to present my best version of myself. My actual version of self is irritatingly early, annoying, charismatic, and makes prolonged eye contact. Maybe sometimes funny, maybe sometimes a good listener. I don’t have any jokes about dating or OKCupid messages or that kind of stuff. I’m not really interested in poking fun at people also trying really hard to meet someone they like. I didn’t really like anyone I met, but I also don’t always like myself. Shit’s hard. I’m no more likable than literally any other human being who has ever lived except maybe Hitler. I just have big hair and a lot of feelings.

Last night at work

  • Lindsay: Fran, I'm gonna write you up for that.
  • Fran: Write me up? For that?
  • Lindsay: Yeah, it was kinda inappropriate.
  • Fran: What are you gonna write? "Fran wanted to listen to Taylor Swift during close, and when everyone groaned, she told the whole staff they could 'get fucked'?"
  • Lindsay: Yeah, you got it.

awesomepeoplehangingouttogether:

Robin Williams and Craig Ferguson

I don’t have anything new or poignant or important to say about Robin Williams. I just keep discovering and re-discovering little clips of him and I want to share them. This made me laugh so hard. I loved it so very much.

As of today, I have lived in my apartment for six months.

I lived with my parents after graduating from college for almost eight months. Living with my parents was a lot of fun. I think they thought I hated it, but mostly what I hated was the suburbs. Living at home was terrible if I wanted to 

  • do anything past 9pm
  • go somewhere on foot or public transit
  • smooch strangers
  • do anything that didn’t require at least 30 minutes of commuting.

But the great part of living with my parents was that they were normal, chill roommates who also would pay for my food and sometimes provide emotional support when I decided to walk around the house and cry everywhere.

Living in the city is interesting and rich and loud and good. So much of my life changed very dramatically once I started living here. I began dating someone very quickly and I got my Onion internship and I started this life where I was actually a Person In The World. The joke was that I was always a person in the world, and when all of those things came to a close, I was still a person, just with different things with different people. I feel now like a resident of this city, which is goofy because when people ask me for directions, I still go, “I don’t know which way is north.”

I like this apartment though our plumbing is bad and it’s on the fourth floor. I have a nice little view and I’m two blocks away from the beach. I’m growing my mints in my window and they get plenty of sunlight. I’ve had so many homes in my life. In the suburbs and in Michigan and then in London and here in Chicago and then Michigan again and Chicago again. I don’t know where this one stacks up. I might miss my studio from last fall the most. If you are a person like me, having a studio apartment is a grand, beautiful, peaceful thing (especially after you move out of a house that has six other people, oy vey). But this roommate situation is chill and quiet and everyone is grounded and not crazy. We are all people here, which is good, just little people doing our own big things in the city.

Movies I watched: Boyhood (2014)
Cameron got tickets to a pre-screening, so I saw this almost ages ago with Richard Linklater doing a Q&A afterwards. I can’t remember most of what he said that isn’t published in interviews afterwards, but watching this was a very surreal and beautiful experience. I wanted so very badly to be able to be snarky about it and say, “but when is there going to be a movie called Girlhood” or some bullshit (which I still think is a valid opinion) but this is such an important piece of filmmaking that being snarky just wastes everyone’s time.
Everyone’s performances are astounding and honest and true. Linklater said something about how if Coltrane had grown up to be a football player, then that’s the kind of movie it would have been. But I love that he grows up to be a photographer and a semi-douchebag arts kid with pierced earrings. I love it. It’s such a good representation of a type of kid we all knew from high school that you don’t often see portrayed in a protagonist type of role. The whole thing made me feel very nostalgic. The music was good. I worry that I’m very close to Lorelai Linklater’s character, especially when she is a mean-spirited teen with bangs and glasses talking about boys. Almost everything about it was good. Occasionally things felt a little contrived, but the parts of the film that were honest and good outweighed the parts that felt hokey or sentimental. I want to talk about Ethan Hawke forever, but I’d actually rather focus on Patricia Arquette’s very last scene in the film which felt so akin to my own mother that I’ve thought about it ever since.
I wonder if Boyhood is going to be too “small” to garner any attention this awards season but I hope it’s not, because it’s easily the best film I’ve seen so far this calendar year. (Favorite will probably go towards Obvious Child, still, for now, but this is definitely better in quality.)

Movies I watched: Boyhood (2014)

Cameron got tickets to a pre-screening, so I saw this almost ages ago with Richard Linklater doing a Q&A afterwards. I can’t remember most of what he said that isn’t published in interviews afterwards, but watching this was a very surreal and beautiful experience. I wanted so very badly to be able to be snarky about it and say, “but when is there going to be a movie called Girlhood” or some bullshit (which I still think is a valid opinion) but this is such an important piece of filmmaking that being snarky just wastes everyone’s time.

Everyone’s performances are astounding and honest and true. Linklater said something about how if Coltrane had grown up to be a football player, then that’s the kind of movie it would have been. But I love that he grows up to be a photographer and a semi-douchebag arts kid with pierced earrings. I love it. It’s such a good representation of a type of kid we all knew from high school that you don’t often see portrayed in a protagonist type of role. The whole thing made me feel very nostalgic. The music was good. I worry that I’m very close to Lorelai Linklater’s character, especially when she is a mean-spirited teen with bangs and glasses talking about boys. Almost everything about it was good. Occasionally things felt a little contrived, but the parts of the film that were honest and good outweighed the parts that felt hokey or sentimental. I want to talk about Ethan Hawke forever, but I’d actually rather focus on Patricia Arquette’s very last scene in the film which felt so akin to my own mother that I’ve thought about it ever since.

I wonder if Boyhood is going to be too “small” to garner any attention this awards season but I hope it’s not, because it’s easily the best film I’ve seen so far this calendar year. (Favorite will probably go towards Obvious Child, still, for now, but this is definitely better in quality.)

Movies I watched: Snowpiercer (2014)
What a weird, fun ride this was. I don’t want to say that Snowpiercer is objectively a good movie because I actually think it is a little bit of a mess—some of which I think exists in translation, other parts because okay, sometimes suspending disbelief is hard—but I enjoyed watching it so very much. It’s so entertaining and such a trip. I’m learning that I enjoy movies that have very video game-like structures. Movies like Scott Pilgrim (which is literally meant to be a video game) or 300 have very specific outlines that exist to make them have levels. You clear this plot obstacle and get to the next one. Of course all movies exist on this level in some ways, but movies like Snowpiercer are a lot more obvious about it.
The performances are all very good—but I loved seeing people I don’t normally see on film (Luke Pasquelino! Song Kang Ho!) have a couple of moments to shine. Tilda is very crazy but not as interesting as I wanted her to be. Chris Evans does his Chris Evans thing, but he just commits so hard to every role he’s in. Chris Evans is such a solid performer in everything he’s cast in. It’s actually very impressive.
My family went to go see this based on my recommendation which is strange because it’s a little bit out of their normal types of films, but they all really liked it and had a good time. We should all have better times at the movies, and Snowpiercer is definitely one of those opportunities.

Movies I watched: Snowpiercer (2014)

What a weird, fun ride this was. I don’t want to say that Snowpiercer is objectively a good movie because I actually think it is a little bit of a mess—some of which I think exists in translation, other parts because okay, sometimes suspending disbelief is hard—but I enjoyed watching it so very much. It’s so entertaining and such a trip. I’m learning that I enjoy movies that have very video game-like structures. Movies like Scott Pilgrim (which is literally meant to be a video game) or 300 have very specific outlines that exist to make them have levels. You clear this plot obstacle and get to the next one. Of course all movies exist on this level in some ways, but movies like Snowpiercer are a lot more obvious about it.

The performances are all very good—but I loved seeing people I don’t normally see on film (Luke Pasquelino! Song Kang Ho!) have a couple of moments to shine. Tilda is very crazy but not as interesting as I wanted her to be. Chris Evans does his Chris Evans thing, but he just commits so hard to every role he’s in. Chris Evans is such a solid performer in everything he’s cast in. It’s actually very impressive.

My family went to go see this based on my recommendation which is strange because it’s a little bit out of their normal types of films, but they all really liked it and had a good time. We should all have better times at the movies, and Snowpiercer is definitely one of those opportunities.

gzagfk asked:

1) You tweeted awhile back that you loved Mario Kart 8. Elaborate. 2) If you had to write a poem extolling the beauty of Andy Daglas, what rhyme scheme would you use?

  1. Yeah! I went over to hang out with a high school friend who I hadn’t spoken to in five years just to play the new Mario Kart game. It’s really great. I wish I had a Wii Universe. It messes with gravity and physics and all sorts of things that the other versions could never touch because of the technology. There are some aspects that I kind of don’t care about—you build your own vehicle which just like, whatever, okay—but it’s very beautiful with a very good soundtrack. I have always been best at racing games.
  2. You would think, because of my love for Andy, that he’d get some kind of metered, rhyming ode, but I actually think something free-form and abstract would piss him off, so that’s what he gets.

EDIT: Just found out it’s called a “Wii U.”

DOUBLE EDIT: Is the U short for Universe or You?

this morning

  • Ryan: I bought Panera today.
  • Me: You love Panera. You are literally whiter than bread itself.
  • Ryan: I have a family coat of arms.

adventuresofangie asked:

What are 5 movies you would recommend to someone who loves movies that they may not have seen?

Oh this is such a good question. There are a lot of movies that are about movies and those happen to be movies that I really enjoy. Like, they pretend to be about other things but mostly they are about the magic and art and science of making films.

  1. Seven Psychopaths
  2. In A World 
  3. Ruby Sparks (this is about writing but I also think it’s about romcoms)
  4. This Is Spinal Tap
  5. For Your Consideration

BONUSES: Tropic Thunder (is kind of a dumb movie, but also is responsible for Tom Cruise’s “comeback” of sorts and has some really, really hilarious parts to it), Singin’ in the Rain (is so truly wonderful and magical and there’s no reason for any of us to ever watch The Artist when you can just google pictures of Jean Dujardin, and Hugo (which I hated but a lot of people really like, who cares! I don’t know).