Nothing else matters in my life because tonight someone told me I was a good dancer. Do you understand? I have worked for so much but tonight someone acknowledged my dancing. I was dancing to No Diggity and someone said the sentence, “you’re a good dancer” to me, the human me, and I said, “oh my god,” and they said, “you are!” and then I whispered, “tell no one.” But now I am telling the internet. It is here now, on the record, that someone thinks I am a good dancer. You can tell me I’m a bad dancer all you want now, but at least there is a single contradictory opinion.

Our jazz band rehearsals are a 1-2 lesson in the deprecation of the greatest American art form.

good sentence I wrote in my high school blog about high school jazz band

I tried to have a serious discourse about my emotions tonight but then Lena Dunham favorited a tweet I sent her, so we’ll put off unpacking all of my feelings for another night, I think.

"So are you going to be, like, wearing a hat all the time now?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You’re wearing a hat."
"Yeah."
"What’s up with that?"
"Um, it’s like forty degrees and my ears are cold. I walked here in the rain."
"Oh, yeah, that makes sense."
"Yeah, I know it does."
"I just need to know if I have to introduce you to people as my hat friend now."
"No."
"I just want to know if that’s a thing."
"It’s not a thing. It’s autumn. Autumn is a thing."
"No, that makes sense. You’re just already, like, the comedian friend and I can’t have you also be the hat friend."
"I’m not your hat friend."
"Okay."
"I’m not the hat friend."

"So are you going to be, like, wearing a hat all the time now?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You’re wearing a hat."

"Yeah."

"What’s up with that?"

"Um, it’s like forty degrees and my ears are cold. I walked here in the rain."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense."

"Yeah, I know it does."

"I just need to know if I have to introduce you to people as my hat friend now."

"No."

"I just want to know if that’s a thing."

"It’s not a thing. It’s autumn. Autumn is a thing."

"No, that makes sense. You’re just already, like, the comedian friend and I can’t have you also be the hat friend."

"I’m not your hat friend."

"Okay."

"I’m not the hat friend."

Last night I accidentally cleaned my whole room. I dusted on accident. I vacuumed on accident. The whole thing was an accident.

I went to a party this weekend, which is a funny thing to say. I have been to about three parties this whole year. Now that I’m not in college anymore, going to parties always feels weird and alien. Oh, is this where I put my coat? Where are the snacks? I went to this party and it was cold out and I wanted to wear a scarf but I hadn’t worn a scarf in ages. I couldn’t find this red cowl I own so I put on a different one. Last night, one of my friends said, “oh, I liked the scarf you wore to the party this weekend.” 

"Oh, thanks! But I wanted to wear a different one!" I explained.

I got home around 10 last night and I thought, I wonder if that scarf is here or at my parents’ house. So I started to look for it and then I also started cleaning and then ~one thing led to another~ and my whole room is so much more organized. It’s still kind of cluttered, because that’s my vibe in general. But I was doing laundry and I found my scarf and I even washed down some surfaces that are always sticky with, like, San Pellegrino or whatever it is I consume on most days. I have a good feeling about this fall. It kind of caught me off-guard and made me feel weird, but I don’t know. The second September started, I felt good again. I felt significantly better about almost everything. 

Of course I’ve typed this whole post in semi-procrastination of going outside and getting dressed, two things I should do, and will do, but also bed and also sitting by my window. Fall will always remind me—and everyone else who is a living breathing human—of school. My sophomore year, I used to sit up on my lofted bed next to the window and write on Tumblr for hours. I think I might take myself for a walk today instead.

brightwalldarkroom:

“School of Rock is beautiful in many ways because it plays out like a fantasy film. Of course it’s not realistic. Of course that’s not how educators should behave. It’s not real, but you want it to be real. I watched School of Rock in my early teens and wanted to be part of it. I wanted music to be as magical for me as it was to the kids in the film. I wanted it to save my life, but instead it became my life. I became a percussion score on a piece of paper.
That’s the thing about rock ‘n roll, Dewey explains. You don’t win at it. You can do a thing called Battle of the Bands and you can win a big check, but you’re never really winning at music. It’s not a competition. It’s about how it makes you feel. For the kids in School of Rock, music is liberating. It opens up a snooty, private school education into something bigger and better that allows the students to express themselves. You learn how to create and build something that is both yours and not yours. Music is about sharing. It’s about giving something away to someone else.”
—Fran Hoepfner on School of Rock
(Bright Wall/Dark Room, Issue #16, September 2014)

I wrote this thing & it was very personal for me.

brightwalldarkroom:

School of Rock is beautiful in many ways because it plays out like a fantasy film. Of course it’s not realistic. Of course that’s not how educators should behave. It’s not real, but you want it to be real. I watched School of Rock in my early teens and wanted to be part of it. I wanted music to be as magical for me as it was to the kids in the film. I wanted it to save my life, but instead it became my life. I became a percussion score on a piece of paper.

That’s the thing about rock ‘n roll, Dewey explains. You don’t win at it. You can do a thing called Battle of the Bands and you can win a big check, but you’re never really winning at music. It’s not a competition. It’s about how it makes you feel. For the kids in School of Rock, music is liberating. It opens up a snooty, private school education into something bigger and better that allows the students to express themselves. You learn how to create and build something that is both yours and not yours. Music is about sharing. It’s about giving something away to someone else.”

—Fran Hoepfner on School of Rock

(Bright Wall/Dark Room, Issue #16, September 2014)

I wrote this thing & it was very personal for me.

I’m not qualified to get advice at any point in my life ever. I’m 23. I’m not that good at stuff. I don’t make a lot of money. I’m not wise. But still. But still, if I had to grant, you, people of the universe, people of the Internet, my little nugget of advice, it is this: 

Do not fold your money. Do not crumple your money. Do what you can to keep your money straight and/or folded in half. Money is valuable, weirdly enough, and when you fold it into little cranes and keep it at the bottom of your wallet, you’re not doing anyone a favor. Sort your money. Keep track of it. Don’t ball it up and put it in your waistband. Just—treat it like a real thing.

Movies I watched: Frank (2014)
Everything you will read about Frank is very true. It’s funny and it’s dark and it’s very twisted. The scoring and music featured in the film is outstanding, as weird as it is. Michael Fassbender is really, really great and also potentially playing the most human character he’s played in a long time. Frank does a fairly good job at what it’s setting out to do, though it did feel a little bit empty in parts.
Frank very much feels like Almost Famous for a slightly younger generation. It’s dealing less with the world of music journalism and more with the world of music marketing. Does your band have a Twitter account? Are you sharing sneak peeks with the world? Domhnall Gleeson is really great as Jon, who acts as both the band’s keyboardist but also their manager and media person. It’s all an exploration of the-band-is-never-really-friends-with-you, with the undercurrent of exploring torment and inspiration. It’s a film that feels like it needs to say its thesis out loud every thirty minutes or so as if to justify the weirdness. That said, one of the most blunt lines of the film comes in the last five minutes, and when it’s finally said, it does feel refreshingly honest and very, very real. There is a humanity to the story but sometimes Frank gets in the way of itself. It wants to push past some of the more painful moments when its best served just letting them happen.

Movies I watched: Frank (2014)

Everything you will read about Frank is very true. It’s funny and it’s dark and it’s very twisted. The scoring and music featured in the film is outstanding, as weird as it is. Michael Fassbender is really, really great and also potentially playing the most human character he’s played in a long time. Frank does a fairly good job at what it’s setting out to do, though it did feel a little bit empty in parts.

Frank very much feels like Almost Famous for a slightly younger generation. It’s dealing less with the world of music journalism and more with the world of music marketing. Does your band have a Twitter account? Are you sharing sneak peeks with the world? Domhnall Gleeson is really great as Jon, who acts as both the band’s keyboardist but also their manager and media person. It’s all an exploration of the-band-is-never-really-friends-with-you, with the undercurrent of exploring torment and inspiration. It’s a film that feels like it needs to say its thesis out loud every thirty minutes or so as if to justify the weirdness. That said, one of the most blunt lines of the film comes in the last five minutes, and when it’s finally said, it does feel refreshingly honest and very, very real. There is a humanity to the story but sometimes Frank gets in the way of itself. It wants to push past some of the more painful moments when its best served just letting them happen.

brightwalldarkroom:

A brand new “Back to School” issue of Bright Wall/Dark Room magazine comes out tomorrow! Featuring essays on School of Rock, An Education, Notes on Scandal, She’s All That, The Emperor’s Club, Monsters University, Whisper of the Heart, The History Boys and more…
Subscribe today and get it the minute it comes out!

"I’m writing about School of Rock. That movie is, like, my life."
"We’re people in the arts. That movie is all of our lives."

brightwalldarkroom:

A brand new “Back to School” issue of Bright Wall/Dark Room magazine comes out tomorrow! Featuring essays on School of Rock, An Education, Notes on Scandal, She’s All That, The Emperor’s Club, Monsters University, Whisper of the Heart, The History Boys and more…

Subscribe today and get it the minute it comes out!

"I’m writing about School of Rock. That movie is, like, my life."

"We’re people in the arts. That movie is all of our lives."

My dad just got his first smartphone and I think he must have some other apps but the app I know he has is Facebook because he is always uploading stuff onto Facebook and it says “via mobile” and I’m like, oh wow, this is a thing you know how to do now. I was on my break at work last night and saw a picture uploaded to Facebook “via mobile” of some cocktails that he and my mom were drinking at a restaurant they like in the city. The city! That’s where I live. And work.

I texted my mom to tell her to swing by work and say hi if they were going to be around, and she texted back, “oops we’re here.” I came out from the back office with half of an Italian sub in my hands and my parents were all dressed up and in line and talking to my coworkers and showing everyone pictures of our dogs. My parents! There are days you have where you feel stupid and terrible and you don’t even really realize you feel terrible, you just do. I didn’t know that what I needed yesterday was to see my parents for ten minutes, but I totally did need to see my parents for ten minutes. We didn’t even talk about anything. I stood outside and they introduced me to a nice dog they met. Then we hugged and they took of picture of me and my dad uploaded it to Facebook “via mobile” and then they hugged my boss and left.

"Were those some regulars of yours?" one of my newer coworkers asked.

"Yeah, they are my regular parents," I told him.

Movies I watched: What If (2014)
This is one of those movies that was legitimately only redeemed on account of its casting. It’s very well cast! Everyone performs so well and is very charming, but it doesn’t really save it from being anything but a run-of-the-mill romantic comedy. I suppose when pitted against things like The Other Woman, it’s a comedy that’s not particularly damaging or hurtful in its representations of men and women. It’s funny. But it’s just nothing that special. I thought the most charming part about it—minus everything Daniel Radcliffe said/did (authorial bias, I suppose)—was that it took place in Toronto! Toronto looked gorgeous. This movie was basically a romantic comedy with the city of Toronto and how to fall in love with Canada. 
I will see everything Adam Driver does for the rest of his life.

Movies I watched: What If (2014)

This is one of those movies that was legitimately only redeemed on account of its casting. It’s very well cast! Everyone performs so well and is very charming, but it doesn’t really save it from being anything but a run-of-the-mill romantic comedy. I suppose when pitted against things like The Other Woman, it’s a comedy that’s not particularly damaging or hurtful in its representations of men and women. It’s funny. But it’s just nothing that special. I thought the most charming part about it—minus everything Daniel Radcliffe said/did (authorial bias, I suppose)—was that it took place in Toronto! Toronto looked gorgeous. This movie was basically a romantic comedy with the city of Toronto and how to fall in love with Canada. 

I will see everything Adam Driver does for the rest of his life.